from now on, please follow all my updated post in my personal blog in :

www.leekheechuan.blogspot.com

it is more user friendly & will make me more productive in my future blog writing…

Cheers..kheechuan

What you find in Westin KL Hotel room

Look carefully the picture above what you find in the hotel room.

Look at the brands you see –

Pringles potato chips …

Oreo chocolate biscuit …

Tong Garden groundnuts …

Loacker biscuit …

Natural Valley crunchy bar …

Durex …. ( tall red bottle & gold colored box )

Research: Those who are higher educated are more vulnerable victims of conmen

I found an interesting news article: Professionals ( = those who are highly educated ) are more likely to fall for the conmen.

What do you think?

As a psychology major, i observed that their con-schemes & psychological tactics they use are very good. That’s why whenever I received a suspected phone call ( whether it is the mainland Chinese accent of the caller or other reasons ) I will just terminate the call. I am aware that if I continue the conversation, i may get conned by them! ( either they are very good or I may fall into their traps – because of letting my guard down or due to my own greediness – human weaknesses you may say )

I will post more info on con-schemes and their modus operandi ( mode of operation ) on this blog to remind everyone.

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Dear friends,
The following was written by my colleague in his Facebook… he was recently cheated by this syndicate.

Please be careful if this happens to you..
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Dear friends,
I have been cheated recently. So I would like to share my experience with you all on how the tactic they use. You can forward this to your friends so they will know about it

1) On Saturday, I receive a phone call from AMBank, a system playback message announce that “You have outstanding balance of RM4,982 for the AMBank credit card, kindly make the payment asap. For customer service, please press 1″
(This is the first step, they make you angry. When you angry, you lost your mind)

2) Since I do not have credit card service with AM Bank, I press 1 to talk to the customer service. And after providing my name and IC number, the customer service told me that there is a credit card under my name. I respond that I did not applied it before. The customer service say is it possible that people stole your info and make a credit card from it. She suggest me to call the Bank Negara – Pusat Pengurusan Kad Palsu to make a report so that they will investigate on it. Since it is Sunday, she suggest I make the phone call on Monday and provide me a phone number 03-8659 0241 .
(This is a fake number, Bank Negara do not have such department. Bank negara number is 03-2698-8044 )

3) On Monday morning, I make a phone call to the given number, I can hear the announcement “Terima Kasih kerana menhubungi Bank Negara…” After that I talk to a guy that speak in Malay. He call me back later with the same callerID, and start to ask my detail of complain. He also keep on telling me that if what I say is not true, I will be caught by police and jail. He then ask for all my credit card detail, have I ever use credit card on ATM, my ATM card and the balance. He also told me not to expose the report detail to my friends as it may affected the investigation result. After that he give me a report number and mentioned that a colleague from other department will help me to secure all my bank accounts.
(They do this step to make you believe that they are true, so that you will corporate with them)

4) After a while, I receive a phone call from a girl, she told me that they have suspend all my bank accounts now. But the ATM card they cannot do it remotely, hence she want me to go to the ATM machine, and key in some special “PIN” to stop the card. After I reach the ATM, she call me and told me that later what I see on screen is not the true info. I just need to key in the PIN given by her. So I just follow the step and key in everything. She then ask me to destroy the transaction slip and throw it away. Then told me within 3 days cannot use my ATM cards and other bank accounts.
(Key in the “PIN” at ATM is fake also, those PIN is actually somebody account number and the amount to be transfer.)

My suggestion
Always call back to the Bank to verify, are you really have that credit card?
Bank always have a tollfree number, including Bank Negara
And you can easily find the real bank number on internet

This guy is a Senior Engineer in my office. We can easily say “hiya… how can he be so gullible to listen to the lady on the phone and actually transfer funds out of his account” BUT reality is that when it happens to you – in the panicky situation… you too may lose touch of our sanity for a short period of time..
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… extract from chat session ( sorry for the improper English )

May: yes……..everything is fine with me! but for my niece still no improvement!

Khee Chuan Lee: u mean she still scared of going to school?

may: yup!

Khee Chuan Lee: can find out what’s the REAL reason... sometimes may be her teacher is very fierce.. or…

may: in fact…..majority of the school teachers r very kind to her. May b 1 or 2 of the teacher is quite fierce. but she still refused to go……..

may: do u need think she need to consult any doc o……

Khee Chuan Lee: … have to talk to her nicely and find out her reason.. well, must talk to her & treat her as adult, cannot use nice tone of voice just for a while and then if she doesn’t to talk further, then use angry voice. if she does not want to talk, just leave it for a while and try nice another time, just treat her like an adult friend

Khee Chuan Lee: if u want o consult doc, better

may: ai……..the problem is her parents very impatient!!! so hw?? my mom ady tried their best tat she can. talk to her nicely n followed what she wants………..but am thinking is it bcoz of that my niece take for granted??

Khee Chuan Lee: can’t comment much at this point, because have not seen your niece

may: ok……i hv such thinking is bcoz quite a number of people said like tat, n they found my niece is too pampered……..

Khee Chuan Lee: may be, i think most children are, mine also, the only way is to talk to her as an adult.. she will FEEL that she is being respected, u see. then she will have more confidence in herself & feel that other people also have confidence in her

may: ya……..i think so.  as from my observation if we talk to her nicely she will behave very good………but when we raised up our voice. she will not listen to us at all…….and this the problem also………not everyone at home can be so patient to her…….u know………even when she did something wrong…….she will not admit n u jus cant claim tat she is wrong…

Khee Chuan Lee: now u get my point… people, especially children REACT to adults behavior. So the easiest way for adults/parents is to mentally treat the child as an ADULT, then talk to her as ADULT, then your voice will be different. if possible, talk with the child at same eye level, meaning adult squat down and talk to her at the same eye level.. Meaning psychologically both are Adults and talking at the same level..

may: well……….we nov talk with her at same eye level…….may b we shoud try tat nw onwards n i wl convey tis message to everyone at home , too…….

Khee Chuan Lee: ya, it take a bit of practice and SELF-AWARENESS that we the adults’ behavior will elicit different behavior from children.. for others to change we must change first.

Khee Chuan Lee: don’t mind, i post this content on my blog? i even have friends who’re teachers say she find what i discuss useful for her as a mother too..

may : of course i dun mind………i believe nowadays a lot of parents having the same problem to communicate with their children……

Khee Chuan Lee: ha ha ur 100% right

may: cos nowadays the kids are much much smarter than in our generation, dun u agree?

may: but u r the exceptional…….

may: i dun s u hv any problem communicate with ur kids since u can understand them so ell, rite?

Khee Chuan Lee: in a way, yes.. b’cos i make an effort to understand how they think and communicate with them, otherwise.. i may ‘lose’ them when they are teenagers and when become more rebellious

Email Question from my friend:

Hi KheeChuan

Gd day! I hv look into ur blog n was so impressed with ur articles. Infact i feel the same too n stongly agreed as parents how they bringing up their children is very important.

Btw, i hv a question 4 u….tat is abt my niece….she is 8 yrs old nw…..but she is so against 2 go 2 school….When she was in primary 1 last yr….my mom has accaompanied her to school every day for the 2nd half yr till 1 mth b4 the school end then only she willing to go alone…..But this yr when the school re-opened she refused 2 go again……She is very active n also very sensitive too…..we jus cant raised up our voice when we talk to her n she wl never listen to wat we said………n the worst part is the parents r so impatience esp my bro he is a very hot temper person……..he wl jus scolded her when she refused 2 go 2 school…….

Am not sure whether she is a hyper active child……..shud i bring her to consult a psychologist?? Since u r major in psycology……..can i hv some advise fr u n wat is ur opinion abt my niece??

It would be mch appreciated if u cld reply me n i guess ur advise wold be very helpful 2 me.

Thanks and Rgds

M

My response:

Hi, M,

About your niece, as you have already mentioned, she is sensitive, so what her parents should do is to acknowledge and better understand how she thinks and feel about going to school.

The more adults shout & talk loudly and want to use the attitude ” I am bigger than you and you must listen to me “, then it will get worse.

The other way of coaxing her to go to school is to help her make one or two friends in her class and they become ‘good friends” – so she feel more secure. Actually my eldest daughter was also like that and now she has friends to ” cling on ” .

Hope this is helpful.

]]> http://leekheechuan.wordpress.com/2009/03/11/insecured-child/feed/ 0 leekheechuan http://leekheechuan.wordpress.com/2009/02/15/all-chirdren-are-intelligent-good-the-problem-lies-with-parents/ http://leekheechuan.wordpress.com/2009/02/15/all-chirdren-are-intelligent-good-the-problem-lies-with-parents/#comments Sun, 15 Feb 2009 06:01:23 +0000 leekheechuan http://leekheechuan.wordpress.com/?p=71 ]]> I got some questions from my online friend who ask:

” Btw..may I just asking since u been study child psychology…can i know what the actually hyper active child are…coz lots ppls said my son r hyper active..but me dun really understand on this..he just only not so concentrate or eyes contact when i talk to him..but he ady know all A-Z, 1-10, shape, big n small objects…etc..only he still cant talk now..he now ady 2 yrs n 4 mths..me just a bit worry on this..do u think u can tell me more abt this.. me really appreciate if u can help on this… well hope u ady recover from the allergy n have a nice day too”

My responses:

ah…on your boy. don’t worry too much about many ‘ kopitiam advice ‘ or comments u get from friends.

I am 100% sure they mean well but they may do more harm than good, whether advice about your child in this case; or financial planning advise. just like when one is sick, consult  the doctor, not the herb shop sales assistant who try to sell you all all kinds of ‘wonder’ vitamins or nutritional supplements

Anyway, unless u sense something very wrong, otherwise your boy is just normal active boy! All normal children are active... even my girls when they are toddler age. they are what I call ” Explorers ” – if u notice your boy when he was a baby, he was active in learning as well: pay attention to sounds, moving objects; touching many things and put in his mouth, right? why?

B’cos the tongue is the most sensitive organ at that point of development & babies want to “feel” & “examine” the “foreign” objects ( just imagine an alien reach the earth and try to understand the world here; a baby that has just arrived on this planet is facing the same situation doing the same )

When he was a baby, there’re constraints on his ‘exploration’ because he can’t craw or walk yet. But when he learn to move around, then he become excited and wants to explore more things and cover more areas ( he starts to touch many things; sometimes throw it; pull the ‘parts’ out; tear it, etc. but to an adult/”old person”, they LABEL the child as ‘naughty’ ). When he learns to walk and realize that he can cover more areas in his EXPLORATION, he is even more EXCITED & begins to touch more things; want to try using them; tear; throw; pull them into pieces to EXAMINE them.

Since, he has more areas to Explore; more things to Examine, & excited, then he appears as not so focus; can’t concentrate on one thing; one task;one activity for long. Normal!

The FACT is: That’s how they LEARN! They are excellent explorers ( LEARNERS )

… remember when they are toddlers, and when they are “locked up” in a baby cot, they will start throwing the toys out? The adult will pick up from the floor and put the toys back and tell the toddlers to play carefully.

But they will throw the toys right out of the baby cot and on the floor again; sometimes he find the noise amusing.

Fact: they are learning the different characteristics of each type of material – some will land on the floor loudly; some softly like their pillow or handkerchief; some will continue to roll like a ball, etc.

What do u think some of the parents/grandparents do? I have seen many times, the adults start scolding the toddlers;

Some started to tell evry visitor who come to the house that their child/grandchild ( if he is a boy especially ) is “naughty” / “hyper-active” / … may be some negative labels or names like ‘little monster”

( I was so shocked when my cousin brother, during a family party function at a restaurant, while speaking over a microphone, made a remark and labeled his brother’s 6 years daughter ( his niece ) a “monster” in front of close to a hundred relatives!

Imagine the negative impact on the innocent young girl?

I call this type of behaviour “ verbal child abuse “.

( on verbal child abuse by a parent/grandparent, I have another case:

While I was queuing up at the airport for an airasia flight, there was a may be age 4 girl in front of me with her mom and grandmother. I am sure you like all parents can concur with me, an age 4 child is always active and keen to learn new things

( imagine the world is foreign for an alien/child who had just stay on earth for only 4 years and had to learn so many unheard of or new things on earth like language, things, etc, etc ).

So the child naturally wanted to touch and get hold of the air asia printed boarding pass so that she can learn about what it is ( remember she is an EXPLORER & EXAMINE everything carefully ).

Do u know what the mother said? She said: “ Don’t touch! Otherwise, if the tickets are lost, you can’t board the plane “ ( in Mandarin or hokkien ). So the girl was scolded for being ‘naughty’ or ‘busybody”

After a while I observed that the girl was walking playfully round her mom and grandma and accidentally stepped on the grandma’s shoe. This time, I almost lost me cool when the grandma scolded her: “ nie yao shze! ( u go to die ), don’t step on my shoe! “ ( exact uttering from the grandma in Chinese )

….. if this is not child abuse, what is?

So the moral of the above stories are:

• All children are active learners; intelligent explorers and super active learners!

• Be very careful what we as adults SAY to children.

I urge all the parents to use our conscious mind and mindfulness and choose the words carefully, because the negative words only impact the children negatively ( cognitively and psychologically ). If you scold them not to touch this or that; don’t do this or that, what u do is to PUNISH them verbally

( In psychology: when a behaviour is followed by a negative response from the adult, the child will tend to reduce the incident of the bahaviour = punishment ).

If these are repeated, then the child will lose their curiosity / and the urge to learn. Because every time he wants to learn, he is ‘punished’ for it verbally ( though the parent may not be aware of his/her own behaviour )

… I have even observed quite often ( may be I was more mindful and observant ) that parents making remarkes in front of their child to other adults ( relatives/friends who visit their house, etc ): “ my child is very slow in her schoolwork “. I actually heard this in school when I was bringing my child to report for 1st day of primary 2 when school re-opened school in January; when all parents brought their children to find the new classrooms and pay the school fees.

• My conclusion is that all children are smart; intelligent and active learners. The problem lies with parents; not their children.

So parents must change their attitude and the way they behave.

& parents must be more mindful of the words they utter when talking to their children;

• Parents must SEE their children POSITIVELY – as “bright”, “active” “intelligent” “wonderful” learners rather than using such adjectives or LABELS as – ‘naughty’, ‘destructive’ ( because always cut up; tear up or pull out parts of toys or anything they thet get hold on ); ‘monstrous” “bad” “slow” “stupid”

• MISSLABEL a child as “hyper-active” when he or she is just a Pro-Active Learner.

Just imagine, if a toddler/child do not touch; try on certain things, whether it is a key; a scissor; pen; screwdriver; a torchlight, etc, how on earth is she/he going to learn about the functions/characteristics of such things?

• When we as parents talk with ( not talk to because it is 2 way communication ) our young children, always be mindful to see from their point of view or their situation.

For me, when I talk with my children, I make it a policy that I talk with them as adults ( i.e. I treat them as if they are adults when I talk ) because the way many parents’ attitude when talking with their children is: “ I am your parent; I am an adult; I am taller and bigger than you; So I talk, you only listen”.

If a parent talks in this way, he/she is just trying to use his/her physical superiority; his authority to “over power “ the child.

After a while, the child will start not to listen to what the parents say or start to argue / protest / talk back. Then the parent will start LABELLING his/her child as “ non obedient”, “ rebellious “, “ no mannerism “, etc.

That’s the picture of baby Elaine when she came home for the first time!

After 54 long days in the hospital @ 1.8kg! Though light weight ( or ‘feather-weight’ ) she was generally healthy after that and even up to now ( age 3+ ) she hardly have any health problem, except occasional flu.

I then realized that the nutrition during pregnancy is very important ( in fact the health & nutrition before pregnancy is equally important ); luckily my wife Luna was taking some natural nutritional supplements during her early pregnancy stage.

These were her pictures after coming home for a few weeks. She looked more like normal baby except she was under-weight. When the graph was plotted on her height & weight she is always in the lowest 10%.

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About 3 months old:

***************************************************************

Quiz for you:

Which of the following picture is Elaine? Picture A or B ?

The other picture is that of Valerie ( Elaine’s eldest sister )

Picture A

Picture B

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

1^st Birthday; “ cilli padi “

@ Age 1 birthday party

A big relief for myself & Luna that Elaine is healthy & bubbly

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Age 2+ Self-potrait @ Copal

elaine with her elder sisiter, Valerie

Like I mentioned, The tiny Elaine was born not only premature, she was born at home unexpectedly.

My wife was feeling the contraction when the pregnancy was at 7^th month. So I brought her to see her doctor. The doctor told us after examining the fetus that the baby was not growing since the 6^th month. ( that explained why she weighed only  855g at birth ) and prescribed the usual medicine to control the contraction.

Since similar situation occurred in my wife’s first pregnancy, so we thought it was ‘normal’. So I sent my wife home and I went out to work again. Around 5pm, my mom suddenly called and was screaming over the phone that the baby had come out!

I panicked and sped home immediately; then called for ambulance from Sarawak General Hospital to come. Luckily our house is near the SGH.

When I reached home the baby was already out in a pool of blood. We heard her cried only two or three times. I was not sure whether she would survive. We just prayed. My mom told me that she came out legs first ( normal is head first ). I guessed it was a blessing in disguise that she was very much under-weight and came out without her leg stuck along the way.

After 5 -10 minutes, though I felt it was the longest 10 min that I had in my life, the para-medic came and quickly ferried them to the hospital.

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Those were the dramatic moments even before Elaine was placed in the incubator in the hospital.

After the full blood transfusion @ 4 days after birth and denied her milk ( was put on drip for one week ), her weight dropped to the lowest level of 755g only.

Luckily, her she responded well after the blood transfusion. Her jaundice subsided, Her stomach was not bloated anymore meaning her infection was under control.

After the emotionally drained first week, Elaine’s conditions stabilized and in fact started to improve. After that she was fed milk using a tube that went from her mouth to her stomach ( you can see it in the first photo I posted on 8 Aug 2008 ). From then on, her health was ok except some minor problems like slight low blood pressure. The doctor and nurses continued to monitor her heart beat; and other health indicators through regular blood tests.

——————————————–

Doctor told us that only when the baby had reached the weight of 1.8kg we were allowed to bring her home. In actual fact we was out of the incubator only after about 7 weeks in the hospital. Then my wife was asked to stayed in the hospital to take care of the baby until she reached 1.8kg.

Welcome home, baby Elaine ... finally.